Okay y'all it's time to talk about the NFL. I've been avoiding it because I love football and I wasn't sure what to say. I wasn't sure that what I did have to say was in any way new or original. But I'm writing about it now because I just have to address it. I'm a feminist and a football fan, and we need to talk about this.
What I've been reminded from the coverage of Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson and others like them is that football players are people. That football is about people watching other people play football. I know this is basic, but when I watch the Cowboys play I don't see individuals in jerseys I see football players who lose their identities within a larger team. And when I put on a Cowboys t-shirt and watch my team play I feel like a part of something bigger. In a way, I lose my identity too.
But I cannot keep doing this.
I cannot keep pretending that who a player is off the field has no bearing on who they are when they are on it. Putting on a Cowboys t-shirt doesn't make me a different person, but I'm ashamed to say that historically I might have believed that it did. We need to remember that football is about people. At the end of the day these players change out of their uniforms and they go home. Unfortunately, some of them hit their partners and their children when they get there. And we cannot be silent while this happens. We cannot cheer for their touchdowns and turn a blind eye when they knock out their girlfriends or beat their sons. We are doing a disservice to the victims, to the players, and to the sport.
So, if we call ourselves football fans we must take on the responsibility that comes with it. We must lose a few games to win the war. Because victory is not worth the bruises. Especially when those bruises are left on people that never stopped onto the field.
Pretending like this isn’t a big deal makes it a big deal. As long as we sit around refusing to acknowledge that domestic abuse is a huge issue it will remain one. Denying a problem is the best way to keep it alive, and the NFL is breathing life into domestic abuse every time they look the other way or issue a two game suspension when jail time is what should be called for. Take a hard line on this, tell little boys and girls that this is unequivocally wrong. Tell them that hitting a woman, even once, is too much. We are taking too great a risk. We risk telling young men and women that people in positions of power can do whatever they like. We risk people's lives when we turn our backs on domestic violence.
I went to the University of Texas for undergrad and the Texas Longhorns football team was a big part of that decision. Rec ently, my Longhorns have not been doing so great. We have a new coach this year and he has gotten a lot of press for suspending a number of players. I looked up his rules to see why so many players were breaking them. They are not so difficult to follow. Go to class. Stay in class. Come to practice. Don't do drugs. Treat women with respect. That's on his list. And we have lost games for that list, I do not doubt it. But I would rather we lost a few games than see a man who hits his partner score the winning touchdown. Because I really believe that integrity off the field will translate to integrity on it. I believe that I can cheer for a winning team that I am proud to call mine, and the sting of losing this year has been softened by knowing that the men I cheer for are worthy of it.
I really love football. I am terrified at the prospect of giving it up because it is condoning behavior that is reprehensible and disgusting. I do not want to do that and I don't think that I have to. But the NFL needs to take a serious look at their priorities. And we, as fans, need to do the same. Winning is great. But it is not everything. A good coach knows that. A good fan knows that. And a good player knows that too. We are people and they are people and the standards of decency and respect are the same. You cannot hit a woman or a child and play for my team. We have to say that and we have to mean it.
What I've been reminded from the coverage of Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson and others like them is that football players are people. That football is about people watching other people play football. I know this is basic, but when I watch the Cowboys play I don't see individuals in jerseys I see football players who lose their identities within a larger team. And when I put on a Cowboys t-shirt and watch my team play I feel like a part of something bigger. In a way, I lose my identity too.
But I cannot keep doing this.
I cannot keep pretending that who a player is off the field has no bearing on who they are when they are on it. Putting on a Cowboys t-shirt doesn't make me a different person, but I'm ashamed to say that historically I might have believed that it did. We need to remember that football is about people. At the end of the day these players change out of their uniforms and they go home. Unfortunately, some of them hit their partners and their children when they get there. And we cannot be silent while this happens. We cannot cheer for their touchdowns and turn a blind eye when they knock out their girlfriends or beat their sons. We are doing a disservice to the victims, to the players, and to the sport.
So, if we call ourselves football fans we must take on the responsibility that comes with it. We must lose a few games to win the war. Because victory is not worth the bruises. Especially when those bruises are left on people that never stopped onto the field.
Pretending like this isn’t a big deal makes it a big deal. As long as we sit around refusing to acknowledge that domestic abuse is a huge issue it will remain one. Denying a problem is the best way to keep it alive, and the NFL is breathing life into domestic abuse every time they look the other way or issue a two game suspension when jail time is what should be called for. Take a hard line on this, tell little boys and girls that this is unequivocally wrong. Tell them that hitting a woman, even once, is too much. We are taking too great a risk. We risk telling young men and women that people in positions of power can do whatever they like. We risk people's lives when we turn our backs on domestic violence.
I went to the University of Texas for undergrad and the Texas Longhorns football team was a big part of that decision. Rec ently, my Longhorns have not been doing so great. We have a new coach this year and he has gotten a lot of press for suspending a number of players. I looked up his rules to see why so many players were breaking them. They are not so difficult to follow. Go to class. Stay in class. Come to practice. Don't do drugs. Treat women with respect. That's on his list. And we have lost games for that list, I do not doubt it. But I would rather we lost a few games than see a man who hits his partner score the winning touchdown. Because I really believe that integrity off the field will translate to integrity on it. I believe that I can cheer for a winning team that I am proud to call mine, and the sting of losing this year has been softened by knowing that the men I cheer for are worthy of it.
I really love football. I am terrified at the prospect of giving it up because it is condoning behavior that is reprehensible and disgusting. I do not want to do that and I don't think that I have to. But the NFL needs to take a serious look at their priorities. And we, as fans, need to do the same. Winning is great. But it is not everything. A good coach knows that. A good fan knows that. And a good player knows that too. We are people and they are people and the standards of decency and respect are the same. You cannot hit a woman or a child and play for my team. We have to say that and we have to mean it.