I have a greater stake in Chris Brown's treatment because he didn't just hit his girlfriend. It was so easy for me to see myself and women that I know and love with bruises on our faces. Bruises from fists like his. It was so easy for me to see myself and other artists pouring ourselves into what we make. This idea that you can separate the art from the artist is not right. It's a lie. Woody Allen is his movies and Woody Allen is a pedophile. Bill Cosby is his comedy and Bill Cosby is a rapist. Chris Brown is his music and Chris Brown is an abuser. Consuming their art is condoning their actions.
When we buy tickets or stream movies or download songs we pay these men for their art. We give them our money. So long as the economy sustains these men they will continue to exist. It's supply and demand. Let's stop demanding. They'll stop supplying. Consumers have power, but we have to care about how we use it.
I am not just upset with Chris Brown. I am upset with the cultural conditions that put him back in our good graces. I am upset with Usher for collaborating with him. I am upset with radio stations for playing his music. I am upset with the voters who included him as a nominee in this year's Grammys. I am upset that in a Grammy ceremony that took such a bold and historic stand on domestic violence there was such a flagrant disregard for it. If actions speak louder than words, and I think they do, the Grammys did very little to condemn domestic violence. No matter how beautiful the performance it is our actions that put our souls on display.
I believe in forgiveness. I believe in this weird tension in which none of us deserve forgiveness but we are all granted it anyways. Forgiveness is a strange and confusing process in which things go from red to white. My God is all for forgiveness and I'm lucky that He is. So, I have to forgive Chris Brown. It's not my right to condemn him because in so many ways we are down in that pit together.
Forgiveness does not erase consequence. Chris Brown messed up, we all mess up. He is forgiven, but his crimes are not forgotten. Forgiveness is not weakness. Forgiveness is not blind. Forgiveness is aware, compassionate, and messy. I am not sure what the solution is. I don't have the perfect answer. I know I will not contribute to a system that raises up men without regard for their character. I know I will not participate in cycles that violently oppress other women.
I will forgive Chris Brown, not because he deserves it but because holding onto hate turns us into Darth Vader.