I've been bad lazy writer Sara this week. One of my excuses is that I've been on the job hunt, which is a truly disheartening and draining experience. My other excuse is that I've been lazy. I've had time to write, but this week the idea of being vulnerable with my computer screen has been overwhelming so I've been watching Netflix instead. Judge away.
I was going to cheat today and give you something I wrote a few months ago. But I decided instead that I should talk/write through my job hunt a little bit. It's a perpetual problem for my millennial generation and there is a heartache that job rejection brings that is unlike anything else.
I want to be hopeful and inspirational to all my fellow artists and creatives who want to survive and thrive out in the real world, but I am struggling to do that today because it has been so utterly exhausting. Filling in piles and piles of paperwork with the same mundane details. Forgetting how many applications you have out there until you walk by a Starbucks and realize no one has called. (Yes, I with a master's degree, did not get a call back from Starbucks). Searching on every possible platform for a job that seems remotely interesting and will cover your rent. Balancing pragmatism with idealism. Un-editable PDF applications. (NOTE: WHY DO YOU DO THIS IT IS SO TERRIBLE). Trying on 12 different outfits and then staring angrily at the floor of your bedroom for attracting all your clothes to it. Giving long-winded, defensive, weary explanations every time someone new asks what you're doing with your life.
It's tough out there. Full disclosure: two jobs called me last week. I have an interview for a job this week and some new possibilities have come up recently. I am cautiously opening myself to optimism. But I still stare blankly at cover letters and reference forms feeling like I haven't expressed myself completely in these pieces of paper. I saw Birdman this week and it reminded me of something that I already knew. In the movie Michael Keaton's character is a washed up actor trying to mount his own play on Broadway. In private we see him move things with his mind. We see that he has this magic that no one else sees. That's how I feel when I apply for jobs. I have this magic but no one can see it. I think that's how a lot of us feel. Like we're Tolstoy length novels and employers want us to fit into the size of a quiz in People magazine.
The fact is job applications can only ever be the cliffs notes version of the masterpiece that is your life. But bear in mind that the fault here lies with cliffs notes and not Shakespeare.
I know that it is disheartening to present an incomplete version of yourself, and even more so when that self is rejected over and over again. I don't have much to say to that, but just know that you're not alone.
Now, I said I wanted to be hopeful so I'm going to share a little anecdote of inspiration from my mother.
I was stressed out and worrying that I wouldn't get into grad schools because some of the programs I was looking at only took two or three new students a year. I told my mother this and she smiled like wise women do and told me, that's okay because you only need one.
So, I will now return to the job hunt newly invigorated and optimistic in the knowledge that I only need one. I hope you will too.
I was going to cheat today and give you something I wrote a few months ago. But I decided instead that I should talk/write through my job hunt a little bit. It's a perpetual problem for my millennial generation and there is a heartache that job rejection brings that is unlike anything else.
I want to be hopeful and inspirational to all my fellow artists and creatives who want to survive and thrive out in the real world, but I am struggling to do that today because it has been so utterly exhausting. Filling in piles and piles of paperwork with the same mundane details. Forgetting how many applications you have out there until you walk by a Starbucks and realize no one has called. (Yes, I with a master's degree, did not get a call back from Starbucks). Searching on every possible platform for a job that seems remotely interesting and will cover your rent. Balancing pragmatism with idealism. Un-editable PDF applications. (NOTE: WHY DO YOU DO THIS IT IS SO TERRIBLE). Trying on 12 different outfits and then staring angrily at the floor of your bedroom for attracting all your clothes to it. Giving long-winded, defensive, weary explanations every time someone new asks what you're doing with your life.
It's tough out there. Full disclosure: two jobs called me last week. I have an interview for a job this week and some new possibilities have come up recently. I am cautiously opening myself to optimism. But I still stare blankly at cover letters and reference forms feeling like I haven't expressed myself completely in these pieces of paper. I saw Birdman this week and it reminded me of something that I already knew. In the movie Michael Keaton's character is a washed up actor trying to mount his own play on Broadway. In private we see him move things with his mind. We see that he has this magic that no one else sees. That's how I feel when I apply for jobs. I have this magic but no one can see it. I think that's how a lot of us feel. Like we're Tolstoy length novels and employers want us to fit into the size of a quiz in People magazine.
The fact is job applications can only ever be the cliffs notes version of the masterpiece that is your life. But bear in mind that the fault here lies with cliffs notes and not Shakespeare.
I know that it is disheartening to present an incomplete version of yourself, and even more so when that self is rejected over and over again. I don't have much to say to that, but just know that you're not alone.
Now, I said I wanted to be hopeful so I'm going to share a little anecdote of inspiration from my mother.
I was stressed out and worrying that I wouldn't get into grad schools because some of the programs I was looking at only took two or three new students a year. I told my mother this and she smiled like wise women do and told me, that's okay because you only need one.
So, I will now return to the job hunt newly invigorated and optimistic in the knowledge that I only need one. I hope you will too.